6 Steps to Becoming Your Better Self
In The Strange Secret of Self-Control we considered how self-control implies that there are at least two sides of our minds. Also we explored how we all start out life identifying with our egoic lower nature, but how a slight shift in perspective can help us tap into a whole new level of potential. This change in perspective is called a paradigm shift.
Here we’ll consider what it takes to make that paradigm shift a reality.
Such a transformation can catalyze us into a fusion lifestyle of inspiration and deep satisfaction. Thus this shift is the essence of our Hero’s Journey.
6 Catalysts for a Paradigm Shift – Becoming Your Better Self
There are tried and true techniques for making this change. The specifics of this transformation will necessarily vary from person to person since we all have different endeavors that interest us, and each has unique challenges.
Also we’re in different positions geographically, economically, biologically, socially, and motivationally. Nevertheless, these 6 factors tend to hold true across various fields and disciplines:
1. Step Back and See the Bigger Picture
When we are locked into a short-sighted mindset, then of course we don’t want to trade leisurely free time for work. Over the period of the next 10 minutes to an hour, it seems like a net loss to work instead of relax.
However, by taking our eyes off the ground and seeing how this work is ultimately taking us to bigger goals, we can feel great about the trade.
For example: do you want to give up $100 right now? Probably not. But would you give up $100 right now if it was going to come back as $120 next week, or $200 next month?
No one wants to give up nice things right now for nothing. But when we step back and see the bigger picture we see that this isn’t just a case losing something nice right now. If we work smart, our time spent is an investment in things to come. And if we play our cards right, the payoff will come back with much more than we put into it.
2. Find Meaning and Purpose
It’s hard to do anything if we don’t understand why we’re doing it. And the ultimate Why in our lives is meaning. So what does your life mean to you? What is your purpose? Why are you here? And what do you really want to do with your short time on Earth anyway?
If you don’t know the answer to these questions, don’t fret. But it’s time to at least start considering them. Don’t look for a single concrete answer but rather start with your values. What do you care about? What are the most important things in your life, or what would you like the most important things to be?
You can work backwards; by starting with the end in mind you can forge a unique lifestyle and meaning. Once you know where you want to be, the challenge is clear. Find the path to take you there. This is the essence of Self-Authoring.
Finding meaning provides you with a larger framework to give meaning to the work you’re doing right now. When you know where you want to go and why it matters, then it’s a lot easier to see how this work session is an investment in the future. And you’ll feel good about it.
3. Log Consistent Wins
By simply getting in the habit of doing the work, you start to build momentum. My close friend and cohost of The Art of Awareness Podcast set a goal for himself to meditate for at least 10 minutes/day for 100 days in a row. It wasn’t always easy, but he made it happen. Doing so led to some fascinating changes.
Most importantly, he couldn’t stop once he hit 100 days. Who wants to sabotage a win streak of 100 days? Now his momentum keeps him on track even when he’s sick or tired. Just this week he passed the commendable milestone of 1 year straight without missing a day.
With a full year of daily meditations in his back pocket, you can bet he has no intention of stopping there.
Inertia is a law of the universe. Things in motion stay in motion until acted on by outside forces. And the same goes for things that are still. It takes an input of energy to get a train rolling, but once it starts it’s hard to stop.
So start logging wins and building your momentum.
4. Feel the Movement and Enjoy It
Once you log some wins, take the time to notice how awesome it is to be making progress. Instant gratification is of course appealing, but it just doesn’t compare to the profound satisfaction that comes from doing the work and feeling proud.
When you do the work for yourself, no one can take that from you. It’s yours. So live it up and soak it in. If you’ve done the work, you deserve to feel good for it. Look close enough and you’ll find that the payoff is already there.
Intrinsic rewards lead to an inspired lifestyle. When we feel good about the work we’ve done, we simply don’t require external validation to keep us going.
5. Get Fit and Healthy
Fit people feel better about themselves. It’s not hard to understand why. When you notice positive results, it’s intrinsically rewarding. Your energy goes up and you can translate those results into other aspects of your life.
Energy leads to creativity, capability, and confidence. But mostly, it just feels good to have the energy and internal resources to make things happen.
These are not just feathers in our cap. They are tangible assets in our personal inventories. We can use them to overcome new and unforeseen obstacles. Thus the benefits of doing the work compounds.
And does anything feel better than easily handling a new challenge with grace and ease? Momentum in health and fitness will necessarily lead to results in other areas of your life.
6. Contribute to Others’ Well-Being
Our existence as humans means that . Connection is a source of meaning, happiness, and safety. Most pathologies of the mind have to do with getting stuck in our own heads. An obsession with ourselves leads to a downward spiral where we make our own problems out to be bigger they really are.
When we contribute to others, we get out of our own heads. We take on the perspectives of others and thus we get a more comprehensive view of what’s really going on. This helps us develop both empathy and compassion.
As a result we feel more connected. We feel like we’re part of something bigger than ourselves. And that’s true whether we think about it or not. By actively focusing on giving, we put ourselves in alignment with natural forces that extend beyond us.
Long story short, by helping others we undermine the self-centered tendencies of the ego. We become part of something more, and it feels good.
Actionable Takeaways
Choose an area of your life, a field of knowledge, or skill that you want to develop, and spend some time everyday working on it. Even if it’s 10 minutes, take some consistent action. If you don’t know where to start, try out any of these 7 habits.
When we do the work to overcome resistance, we become better people. This is true not only in regards to identifying with our better selves. It’s also true from the external perspective of becoming capable people with energy to share.
And ultimately it’s this capability that allows us to contribute to something beyond ourselves, living lives where we are truly thriving.
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